Self-Exploration and Healing in Quarantine: Get Ready for ACT 2

It’s a scary time around the world right now, with so much uncertainty and not knowing how long we’re going to be living in isolation.

We’re all in different circumstances. Some of you live with your partners, children, roommates, parents, pets….and some of you, live alone.

I’m an American living in Spain. Madrid, to be exact, the epicenter of Spain’s coronavirus. I don’t have any family here. Healing from some hard shit. And I live alone.

What I’m about to delve into is applicable to whichever profile you fit under. But I’m approaching my argument as a person who’s in a type of “solitary confinement.” Day 8 of complete lockdown, the last time I stepped outside. Day 12 of quarantine.

This time of solitude and isolation is an incredible opportunity. An opportunity to sit with yourself. I mean, really sit with yourself. And to allow yourself to feel. All of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Feeling the fear. The pain. The anxiety. The anger.

Feeling the gratitude for living in a first world country.

Feeling the immense love we have for our family and friends that maybe we had taken for granted.

Feeling the profound appreciation for millions of health care professionals who are working around the clock to treat the sick.

Feeling grateful for all of the people who are working daily to serve us.

Feeling compassion for all of the families who are suffering losses.

Feeling deeply ashamed that it takes a pandemic for our beautiful planet to be able to breathe…

Sounds intense, doesn’t it? To feel? All of that??

It is.

And this is what it means to be HUMAN.

We’ve become masters at numbing ourselves.

We escape our feelings by taking on so much in our day-to-days with work/school, hobbies, projects, sports, social time, etc. Of course, these are all important and healthy activities. But you know who you are if you (normally) have each of your days jam-packed with no time to be alone with your thoughts. The moment you have one minute with yourself, you dive into the next thing.

We escape our feelings with addictions. Parties, alcohol, drugs. Sex. Gambling. Romantic relationships. Netflix. Video games. Social media and our mobile phones, in general.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the majority of us have suppressed emotions. Dare I say that?? Yes, I do.

Because we’ve all got some kind of pain we wish to forget and ignore, whether from recent events, our childhood, or both (often linked together).

Our childhoods are tricky because we often don’t remember certain life events. We don’t remember because we were too young and our less-developed brains didn’t have the capacity to process some of those hard experiences.

But guess what? Our bodies didn’t forget. And somewhere, way down into the abyss of our being, lies those emotions we’ve been trying to move on/hide from. We’ll give anything not to feel them.

But now is an opportune time. A unique moment in history. You have some extra time on your hands!

Let the mixed emotions of this global health crisis open the door to your suppressed emotions.

I mean, you can’t go anywhere!

Feel fear? Cry. This could be the most cathartic act you do for yourself. Connect with a memory that triggers the fear (if the pandemic itself hasn’t moved you to that point). This eventually can open the floodgates to other emotions. Let it. Don’t edit yourself. You have nowhere to go. Let it out (and hopefully you’ve stocked up on enough toilet paper for all of your snot…if not, use your sleeve, it’s fine, I mean, you’re alone and at home!).

If you have any video calls later (which I highly recommend during these times) you can lower the lights or slap on some make-up if you’re worried about red or puffy eyes.

Feel anxious? Do whatever puts you in a meditative state. Exercise, cook, paint, sing…

Meditate. Don’t roll your eyes. Try it. If you’re not “good” at it, Gabrielle Bernstein leads some powerful short meditations on her podcast, with beautiful music, and these have rocked my world.

Meditation enables you to sit in the stillness and to relax. It reminds you how lucky you are to have your breath. It allows you to connect to the infinite source of Love, your higher self, God, the universe, your intuition, I don’t care what you call it. Sometimes this simple act of connecting allows those deep emotions to come to the surface. Let them. Tell your logical mind to shut up and to stop judging, and let your body purge.

Feel angry? Ok! Punch the hell out of your pillow and pretend they’re your politician of choice. And see where that takes you. Scream profanities into it. Let your fucking pillow have it. You can always buy a new one once we’re free into the world again. IKEA should survive this!

Now, I’m not a health professional and I’m not trying to advise you as one. Especially if you suffer from mental illness. If this sounds too intense for you, I would encourage you to seek the support from a licensed therapist. They should do video calls!

And even if you don’t suffer from mental illness, we can all benefit from a therapist from time to time. If you have one, continue with your sessions via video call, the timing is impeccable.

Some of you will need to do a bit more soul-searching to peel away the layers. Sometimes we don’t understand what the root emotions of our feelings are. For example, if you feel insecure, anger and/or fear would be the underlying emotion. Where does the fear come from? From not being good enough. Ok, when was the first time I didn’t feel good enough?, etc. Dig deep.

Journaling can be a great way to figure shit out. Write down the feelings that haunt you and work your way backwards to try and get to the root emotions. Sounds like work, doesn’t it? It is! But what else have you got to do?! Nothing!

And it’s the most important work of your life.

Face it, head on. Be BRAVE.

Netflix can wait (until Ozark returns!). Your damn social media can wait (unless you’re posting to inspire, yes please!). When are you going to have another opportunity of forced isolation? Hopefully not for another hundred years, and by then, you’ll be dead. So carpe diem!

CAVEAT: It’s a scary time. It’s important to combine your self-exploration time with video calls to family and friends, being creative, having dance parties, reading, watching comedy and Netflix. I don’t advise any of us to live deep inside ourselves all the time right now.

But why not take a good part of this time to do so? What have you got to lose?

Once we’re let back into the world again, why not return to it a bit more mature? A bit more loving? With a bit more to offer? With a bit more of YOU?

With a fresh perspective on what it means to be human. That little shift could make the world a much better place.

And gosh, we certainly need that right now.

Shifting the human collective towards more LOVE starts with yourself, as the individual.

Feel your emotions. Face them head-on. Be freaking valiant and walk into the storm. Have faith that you’ll come out the other side.

Release.

Forgive.

Fall in love with yourself (all over again).

Become a better YOU to bring into ACT 2: Living in the World Again.

In the meantime, stay well sweet darlings. We’re all here together, connected as One.