How To Get Over Betrayal
It’s not easy sweet darling, I know.
His betrayal feels like a big, heavy boot with a steel toe slowly crushing your chest, which wants to cave in at any moment.
On the surface of his dark shadows, he treated you like a queen and even called you so…
He was attentive to your smallest needs…
He was affectionate and loved to cuddle with you…
You two had the deepest conversations that lasted for hours…
You created the best music playlists together…
You were each other’s best friend…
You talked about the future, marriage, and even kids. And you took action towards that fantasy future.
You had never been more in love…
And yet, he had a dark secret. He had this whole other life going on behind your back, betraying your heart each and every day.
And now you’re here. Completely blindsided.
How can this be??
Sure, challenges started to arise in the relationship, but every relationship has them, right? The key is having a mutual willingness to navigate those challenges with honesty, communication, and commitment.
And you were there, sweet darling, weren’t you?
But he wasn’t. He had his own ideas. Ideas you cannot even fathom. He acted in ways that are beyond your comprehension.
You’ve been banging your head against the wall in hopes that the lightbulb goes on so you can rationalize all his deceit. Then you can have peace in your life and move on, right?
No. No such brand of lightbulb exists. Not for your kind of human.
And now you’re obsessing my love, aren’t you?
You can’t stop replaying the last several months of your relationship over and over again, trying to figure out how you got here and who really is this person you’d been sharing your life with?? Your intelligent and dumbfounded mind is perplexed about how didn’t you see any of this??
Stop, my love. Please stop.
You completely trusted him, which is a fundamental pillar in a healthy relationship.
You’ll never understand his betrayal. And the only way you’ll get over it is by accepting it and letting it go. Letting go is forgiveness.
Forgiveness?
Yes.
That doesn’t mean you’re justifying or minimizing his actions. No, what he did to you was horrifically wrong, and you didn’t deserve it. But forgiveness doesn’t have to do with him, it has everything to do with YOU.
Forgiveness means that his actions no longer have power over you.
But it’s hard, right? You cannot accept that the seemingly mutual, deepest love and connection you’ve ever felt was just an illusion…
I know, my love.
But your constant rumination is chipping away at your soul. It’s stealing your joy. It’s not serving you in any way. You have to let it all go if you want happiness again.
You’ll never be able to understand because your heart is different. You, my sweet darling, have a great capacity for love.
He doesn’t. He’s not wired the same way as you.
So stop trying to make sense of it.
Stop watching videos on YouTube from psychologists, trying to get to the bottom of his actions. An accurate label defining which personality disorder(s) he suffers from isn’t going to bring you the peace you’re desperately gasping for.
He’s simply not capable of loving you, no matter how many beautiful words he professed and/or continues to profess to you. Period.
And what a tragedy for him, so incapable of love. Feel compassion for him. Forgive him. And let the betrayal go because it has nothing to do with you. Those are his demons, and his demons only.
It’s a process, it takes time, stay committed to it. You don’t have to let go right this minute if you’re not ready. Take the time that you need, I know how much you loved him.
Just know that letting go is the only way to heal and to be free.
Letting go is recognizing the love you have within you. It’s so powerful, my love.
So please don’t let this experience keep your heart forever closed off. Pain can thrust you into a dark hole of victimhood, or it can be your greatest teacher. If you choose to learn from it, you’ll always be free.
Let that love within you be your most valuable superpower. And watch how beautiful and miraculous life becomes.
